Thursday, January 16

Mid January is when I really start to get frustrated. Every year. Right around this time.

This is when everything seems to 'hit.'

The numerous germ invasions that follow us home from preschool and the grocery store and library story time.

The anxiety over picking my pepper seed starting date. Too early? Will I have a problem with dampening off? Should I use a heat mat?

The claustrophobic, bulky feeling of being stuck in a heated car with a winter coat on.

As the little man would say, "Is spring here yet!!?!!"

This is also the time of year when I feel intense pressure to make lists. Lots of lists about lots of things and sometimes I buy a new notebook, just because I have convinced myself that 'list making time' is THAT important.

I do this because this time of year is when I feel the most stressed, the most overwhelmed and the most in need of something to make sense of it all. I make lists. Just the act of making the list - writing down the things that need to be done - feels like I have accomplished a step towards actually finishing the project. (Painting the shed has been written down on the list for about 3 years in a row now and writing "paint the shed" is as close to actually getting the shed painted as I have gotten). But, hey, I am thinking about painting that shed and it should count that I have not totally forgotten about it.

I make lists to organize my life. I have one for improvements and repairs to be made in each room of the house, including the attic and basement. I have a list for things to stock up on in the pantry, craft projects for the kids, books to check out of the library, yard projects, a new tattoo, vehicle maintenance, and an entire list devoted to interesting things I have found in magazines, blogs and books that I want to implement on the property. I am really looking forward to rain barrels, fodder systems and wood shed plans.

I also make lists of a more personal nature that help me deal with all the imperfections and annoyances that are my life - both physical and mental. I have lists of vitamins and supplements to look into that might help with my strong tendency toward panic attacks, slowing metabolism, and non-existent energy levels. I have a list of websites with exercises to target muffin tops and saddle bags where I am sure to find the magic combination to give me back my size 4 low waist jeans. Hell, I'd settle for an actual waist line at this point.

And I am already planning for next winter - stock up on split firewood, get a load of straw bales for the coop, buy a new snow shovel because our current one got run over by the car..... (they have bikini's on sale at Target right now so snow shovels should be about $0.39 on clearance)

All these lists, whether they are about gardening or knitting or green tea diets or making our own playdough and granola bars, help me function. they take the massive churning jumble of ideas inside my head and convert them to a usable form. I feel that if I can get them all sorted out then I might have a chance of accomplishing my goals and coming out ahead. They help me during this mid-January time where life is both stressful and boring and most likely spent with a cough and a runny nose.

Right now we are being hit with colds all around, the little girl has a fever along with it, and who knows what is currently incubating around here from Roy's recent work trip to North Carolina.

List addition - knit Roy a mask and gloves to wear on any more trips though airports.

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