We went out to lunch with my grandparents and my parents a couple of weeks ago to celebrate a late Easter and Mothers Day. Given the nature of the occasion, I decided to get "dressed up."
I hardly ever do this. I do not have a job to go to every day and I am not one of those people who try to wander around the mall dressed "to the 9's" to impress other people. So getting dressed up for me is a big deal. But not totally in a good way.
Here is what I mean.
I wore a dress. And heels. And makeup.
And i was absolutely, totally, 100% uncomfortable in my own skin. I kept pulling at the dress, thinking it was too short and people could see my butt.
Not that I do not want to look nice, but the feeling of uncomfortable-ness far outweighed any feelings I might have had of "looking pretty."
I am just not a "dress-y" person. I like dresses - those nice summer dresses that you wear around the house on hot, humid days and that you hang the laundry out in and take little tours of your garden in. Those are nice, and I wore one of those to lunch. But for some reason, it just didn't work. I took the dress out of its element and it repaid me with a self conscious afternoon.
Maybe it was because I expected too much. Since I lost my job and have become a stay at home mom, I think that jeans without holes in the knees and a button down shirt over a tank top that match each other is getting "dressed up." The most exotic place I go to is the Wegmans organic department. Most days, I live in "outdoor" clothes - clothes that I can wear to mow the lawn and clean the bathroom, or work in the yard. This consists of some sort of long shorts, tank top, muck boots, my trucker-chick baseball cap and a pair of dirty work gloves.
I am 100% totally comfortable in this. I feel confident and powerful and kind of attractive, actually.
Case and Point: the other day I was at Mom's doing some garden work for her (taking up sod, planting lilies, weeding, etc.)I had on cut of jeans, a hoodie sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off half way up, muck boots and an old corona beer baseball cap. Later that night she emailed me and said "why is it that you look so nice even when you are getting dirty gardening?"
I guess this means I was just meant to be an "outdoor" girl.